senior moment

I just hate writing about myself, or anything that will divulge exactly what I want to eat during my midnight snacks or the kind of shampoo that I use.

Sometimes, which happens to be a lot, I ‘d rather prefer to share erroneous ideas and thoughts to my crazy little restricted world. But haha to me and to this philosophy,  I am an underground emo by accusation and at the minimum by action.

I think it is rather very noble to be honest at these times of the days. I am almost missing out on my youth and I miss writing in diaries, the last one I had during my fourth grade. And for the sake of nostalgia, I wish to remember this healthy moments of silence where I am my own thought until I’m gray…or green. =)

This can go very long, and I could really have nothing much to say. But I have just gone through a tedious finals examination that involved “a-life-and-death” dilemma for a senior like me, according to my newly permed professor in thesis class, and therefore, I am in my post-trauma stage.

I am not a very good writer and thinker. I am not also a highly emotional beating human… but I feel like blogging, and for that, I am bearing with a passion-driven self longing to just blab things out in random.

It started out with a smog-filled Manila and a very early morning shower with scrambled eggs and sausage. It didn’t rain the night before, which is usual in a typical summer night. The milk tea was good and warm, with which for the first 20 minutes, I felt like culminating my day.

I noticed that almost everyone wouldn’t take a shower without eating breakfast first. Well I don’t. And today, I chose to wear a nice loose shirt and my favorite blue denims for the table.

I smiled at thought of another day with a red chipped-off nail polish and a fading butterfly right leg henna in Pharmacy school.

I went back to my room after usual table conversations.

As I went up, I can’t help but notice my 3-month-old sick laptop in dire need of some SEA-gate just to turn the power on. And then I remembered my files-pictures, posters, videos, and articles, which I have labored hard on for years and which I have been missing for months now.  I never knew I was THAT passionate.

I picked up a pile of clothes which have been staying in the laundry room for days- have I been that busy?

I slipped on my usual school gear with my very comfortable flat ballet shoes.

While heading for the door, I grabbed my room key. I live in room 292 and I own a key chain with a purple metal holder, a Mickey Mouse clock which Honey gave me from HK, a bronze Eiffel Tower which Zoe gave me from France, a red Chinese symbol which Cherry gave me from China, a blue and green rosary which I bought from Ate Leonor, a neon green letter J which a Barista gave to me last semester, and a cute yellow wooden cat which Lezzie gave me last December. I always love telling that story to people who asked why my key is so heavy. =) Everything is just so important, I can’t remove any of them.

Reading the blue-colored post near the reception for the nth time has become part of my routine- sine it was posted. I presume some girl believes that though “Love can melt pain” sometimes it goes the other way around.  M&M’s anyone?

Same thing goes for the busy Legarda and its people. Traffic went on adding up every minute like little beads in a bohemian necklace. Water vendors, the Gulp guy, and my goodness gracious- the never ending leaking water beside that Body Buff gym that is never fixed.

The trip to school involves, to my idea, a “hybridized” pedicab, with a rate of 20 pesos per head-that is the value we have agreed to put on the ease of having not to walk and suffer the desperate Manila heat which seemed to have already exhausted all of its Vitamin D early in the 90’s.

And then Espana.

UST is a decent school that instantly makes you feel so Europe from the instance that you take your foot off the the Espana overpass. Behind its highly detailed gates, we are, I can say secluded from all the bitterness of tyranny and poverty which would usually flood the streets of Welcome Rotonda, Espana, Morayta, Recto, and Mendiola. Inside we have fresh air, old trees, and the best milk tea. We are taught Marketing and Management in Pharmacy school and we pray the Our Father in Spanish twice a week. Yes, it seems an easy and blissful life in a white uniform.

Today, I only spent 5 hours, which is a minimum to the usual 12-hour Monday schedule. The finals examination was more than an ordeal. It seemed like a status symbol for a typical senior student who have almost finally came to the END OF IT.

It was no different sight from freshmen years. The comedians still gave a good laugh. The dean’s listers were relaxed. The committed were texting. The hungry grabbed their usual overpriced hotdog sandwich and hot coffee. The crammers were cramming. And the quiet ones, well, they were now in their own little quiet groups.

And though Mam Coloma’s husband just died, she had to dye her hair burgundy, shape her eye brows, and wear her old floral shirts because she needed to proctor for an examination. She was our Philippine Constitution professor. And she gave us imported candies when her package from the U.S. arrived. I just remembered.

The examination started and the usual uneasy silence filled the room.

30 minutes later, Lloyd stood up. He always finishes up early from the rest.

Though I had the subtlest thoughts of a bouncing joker in the middle of the room or a U.F.O. right above the football field, the day still went on as it was expected.

I took the same route back- walking.

It was Manila again.

The Gulp Guy was nowhere in sight when I passed by his old spot. The sky was almost gloomy for the usual time of the day.

And then, I wondered what it was like to be Bill Gates at this time of the day.  A chauffer and a good lunch at a five star hotel while surfing with MAC OS perhaps. =)

Impulse told me that I wanted  to write. And deviance told me that I can skip lunch.

And since honesty seemed to the the self-proclaimed word of the day, I admittedly agreed that I needed more than green tea to detoxify my system.

Hi, I’m Joana Marie E. Verdeflor. I eat tuna and tomatoes for midnight snacks and I use Loreal Anti-frizz shampoo every morning by the way.